A Compilation Of Anecdotes Titled: I'm Sorry Mom & Dad.

I was thinking this weekend that I haven’t written in awhile, or at least not consistently like I had wanted to when I started this blog. Sometimes I feel like I need something to gripe about in order to write and I don’t feel that should be the case, so I started thinking about all these situations, some funny, some disturbing, and some sad that I have been involved in, in my life. When I was reading about what makes a good blog; the number one tip was:Don’t make it about you, you, you. I feel bad because, as always, I am making myself the exception (haha) I think my short stories are pretty entertaining… and if they aren’t entertaining they’re at least believable reasons for me being the way I am. Even the most conservative of my friends, I feel, would be able to understand my stories and me. So I am going to try and share some situations that some have probably already heard, and some that NO ONE has ever heard. When I use the term ‘story’ please don’t think this is made up—these are all real.

Story #1)

The Microwave

As most of you probably know, or at least could probably guess: I am/was a rebel. I used to think I was smarter than the average bear…parent, teacher, you name it. I think it was 8^th grade. My little sister was 3 or 4 and I was the babysitter. My parents would go to dinner and
parties and I would stay home without a fight to babysit because this only entailed propping my sister up on the couch with apple juice, crackers, and Disney’s ‘Fantasia’ while I tied up the phone for hours on end, listened to the radio, tried on my mom’s make up, and gossiped on AOL Instant Messenger. One night in particular I was grounded from the phone—and it wasn’t grounding because of the normal smart ass comment, or combative nature (I know it’s hard to believe, right??) I believe I was grounded due to the forging of Progress Reports!! Yes, the smartest bear in the whole world (in her own mind) forged her Progress Report because of a couple C’s. I think my mom asked to see the report and in a panic I changed the C to a lower case ‘a’ and then tore off where I had forged my mom’s signature. I was busted—after a 2 hour showdown I withdrew my weapons and waived my white flag. Not to fret though!! The neighborhood Christmas party was this weekend and that would mean the phone, computer and house to myself!! “Bye mom, bye dad.. Have fun! Take your time!!”
Fast forward 4 hours of phone, Mariah Carey’s Butterfly Album, blue nail polish
and 2 lbs of pizza rolls and its 11 o’clock. My old house in GA had huge bay windows and one of them was in my room, and in the winter when the trees lost their leaves I could see through to the beginning of our street. This gave me like 3 minutes to clean, put stuff away, and later in life douse myself in perfume to mask the smell of cigarettes (yep, these stories will get better) Well I see the lights of the ol’ suburban and they turn into the neighbors
drive way… YES! They are going to the ‘after party’ ..more free time… on the
phone past 11pm... I am so cool. I couldn’t tell you now who the hell I was
even talking to?! Another hour goes by and I hang up with (God only knows) and
I realize the phone is BURNING hot… like REALLY hot. I am busted… if my dad
comes home and picks up the phone to redial and see if I called someone (oldest
dad trick in the book, but obviously I would dial a fake # prior to putting the
phone back, so when he did redial he got some wrong #) the phone would be
literally hot. What do I do?? How does it get back to room temp?? I am going to
put it in the freezer! A few minutes in the freezer and it will be back to the
normal temperature. I toss it in.. well, I must have been tired from the night
and drifted to sleep on the couch and woke up an hour later… parents still not
home and I shoot straight up and realize the phone has now been in the freezer
for an hour!! I go to get it… Oh my God. The phone has gone from being 80
degrees to 10 degrees!! Condensation is now building up, but the phone is
cold.. The buttons are barely pressing in. What do you do when you need
something quickly warmed up..?? Duh… MICROWAVE!! I pop the phone in.. 10
seconds should suffice, right? I press start………………………….. SPARK! SNAP! POP! Immediately
preceding the start of the warm up. I open the microwave. On one hand the phone
is now room temp (SUCCESS?!) and on the other hand the power button is now
stuck on, the green light to show it’s on is stuck to being on, and it’s not
working. WHATEVER! I will blame it on my sister… 3 things I lived by between
the age of 13 and 18 “Deny, Deny, Deny.” My parents get home a little later,
they discover the phone and we go back and forth about it, but my dad
technically can’t prove anything. The next day he is on the phone with Sony and
they tell him to send it in to be looked at (on his dime). At this point in the
90’s cordless phones were still cool/new. He sent it in and the diagnosis was
water damage—hhhmmm perhaps from the freezing then microwaving?? I knew this,
but they didn’t. So they went and got a new phone and I kept this little secret
inside for about… 10 years.  I started around
the age of 23 letting out little tid bits of information, or the truth about
things they’d always wondered. I knew that they couldn’t get mad at that point
and I, personally, needed to start clearing my closet of all these skeletons.
No matter how small they were—I harbor guilt and hold grudges against myself
for a long time. So I think back to the ROOT of all this and realize it stemmed from forging a signature to hide the fact I was earning a C in 8th grade... I probably wouldn't have even been grounded... just a lecture. I live now by: Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy..

Communication In The Workplace...

So, most of you know that I have been at a new job that I totally love, and I have been here since November. I work a couple days a week in Oceanside and the majority of the people I work with are Hispanic women. These women are mothers, some single mothers, and they are from the community.. the community isn't exactly middle class... so they are faced with stress that I can't even comprehend.. and I take this into account everyday when I feel like I WANT TO WALK OUT. I'm not sure how they view me, but I am pretty positive they don't view me as a help, or as a team mate. I think I encompass someone from the main office, who is younger, semi Hispanic, and maybe a little more educated. All of those ingredients add up to a recipe for opposition. Not all of them give me that vibe, but most..
How do I continue to try and bring my organization, focus, efficiency, and skill set to help them run a smoother operation without losing my mind, or dealing with disrespectful women who are older than me?? My idea of organization and theirs is TOTALLY different. There's a 5 minute bout of panic everyday about something whether it be: finding stickers for kids, markers, paper, etc.. 5 minutes of stress that is not necessary if they would understand and appreciate all the time I've put into organizing their office and making visible all the resources and supplies they have... not to mention I am the person that orders the supplies they need, etc. Sometimes they are SO SO SO unapproachable it makes me (the confident, assured person I THOUGHT I was..) feel non existent, and not taken seriously. Not a day goes by that I don't have to think really hard about what I say and how I say it..? Do you all do that?? Do you have to censor what you say and how you say it for fear of a person shutting down on you, or lashing out? I am younger in all the ways possible than them... and sometimes I have to be like a teacher to a class of 3rd graders, and pause for attention, ask for specific people to please stop and listen to me.. because if I don't than the excuse is "I didn't hear you." The one thing I have going for me is that I do understand most of the Spanish they speak, so there is no getting away with talking about me...but normally..that doesn't stop them. SO what do I do?? Get tougher, show a backbone (more?) get to know them more personally, so its harder for them to associate me as a non entity? I don't get it... I just think it's really rude and though they do lack some of the office and social skills that most of us learn early one, I still feel its no excuse, and its wearing down on my day and my emotions.. and I have bigger fish to fry. I am really asking for comments to this post on this topic.. I for once don't have all the answers.. hahah