EAT.PRAY.LOVE

So I watched 'Eat.Pray.Love' this weekend.....I kept thinking "I love this movie!" and then at the end I realized I liked it because it took me to Bali, India, and Italy (the cinematography was great..)--- Julia Roberts was OK. And the concept of the movie was really UNREALISTIC........... so what are the other 99% of women that go though a crisis supposed to do when they don't have tens of thousands of dollars to go around the world and find themselves? Not to mention also finding themselves in the arms of Penelope Cruz's husband? I appreciated the mantras and inspiration, but nothing was said that I didn't already know, think, or at least have tried to feel in my lifetime. I don't know-- I feel like it's kind of shitty to dangle 'the good life bait' in front a bunch of 20-40 somethings who ultimately will never pick up and leave, travel, etc
Am I being cynical?

That's all.. just a little thought i had..

A Compilation Of Anecdotes Titled: I'm Sorry Mom & Dad.

I was thinking this weekend that I haven’t written in awhile, or at least not consistently like I had wanted to when I started this blog. Sometimes I feel like I need something to gripe about in order to write and I don’t feel that should be the case, so I started thinking about all these situations, some funny, some disturbing, and some sad that I have been involved in, in my life. When I was reading about what makes a good blog; the number one tip was:Don’t make it about you, you, you. I feel bad because, as always, I am making myself the exception (haha) I think my short stories are pretty entertaining… and if they aren’t entertaining they’re at least believable reasons for me being the way I am. Even the most conservative of my friends, I feel, would be able to understand my stories and me. So I am going to try and share some situations that some have probably already heard, and some that NO ONE has ever heard. When I use the term ‘story’ please don’t think this is made up—these are all real.

Story #1)

The Microwave

As most of you probably know, or at least could probably guess: I am/was a rebel. I used to think I was smarter than the average bear…parent, teacher, you name it. I think it was 8^th grade. My little sister was 3 or 4 and I was the babysitter. My parents would go to dinner and
parties and I would stay home without a fight to babysit because this only entailed propping my sister up on the couch with apple juice, crackers, and Disney’s ‘Fantasia’ while I tied up the phone for hours on end, listened to the radio, tried on my mom’s make up, and gossiped on AOL Instant Messenger. One night in particular I was grounded from the phone—and it wasn’t grounding because of the normal smart ass comment, or combative nature (I know it’s hard to believe, right??) I believe I was grounded due to the forging of Progress Reports!! Yes, the smartest bear in the whole world (in her own mind) forged her Progress Report because of a couple C’s. I think my mom asked to see the report and in a panic I changed the C to a lower case ‘a’ and then tore off where I had forged my mom’s signature. I was busted—after a 2 hour showdown I withdrew my weapons and waived my white flag. Not to fret though!! The neighborhood Christmas party was this weekend and that would mean the phone, computer and house to myself!! “Bye mom, bye dad.. Have fun! Take your time!!”
Fast forward 4 hours of phone, Mariah Carey’s Butterfly Album, blue nail polish
and 2 lbs of pizza rolls and its 11 o’clock. My old house in GA had huge bay windows and one of them was in my room, and in the winter when the trees lost their leaves I could see through to the beginning of our street. This gave me like 3 minutes to clean, put stuff away, and later in life douse myself in perfume to mask the smell of cigarettes (yep, these stories will get better) Well I see the lights of the ol’ suburban and they turn into the neighbors
drive way… YES! They are going to the ‘after party’ ..more free time… on the
phone past 11pm... I am so cool. I couldn’t tell you now who the hell I was
even talking to?! Another hour goes by and I hang up with (God only knows) and
I realize the phone is BURNING hot… like REALLY hot. I am busted… if my dad
comes home and picks up the phone to redial and see if I called someone (oldest
dad trick in the book, but obviously I would dial a fake # prior to putting the
phone back, so when he did redial he got some wrong #) the phone would be
literally hot. What do I do?? How does it get back to room temp?? I am going to
put it in the freezer! A few minutes in the freezer and it will be back to the
normal temperature. I toss it in.. well, I must have been tired from the night
and drifted to sleep on the couch and woke up an hour later… parents still not
home and I shoot straight up and realize the phone has now been in the freezer
for an hour!! I go to get it… Oh my God. The phone has gone from being 80
degrees to 10 degrees!! Condensation is now building up, but the phone is
cold.. The buttons are barely pressing in. What do you do when you need
something quickly warmed up..?? Duh… MICROWAVE!! I pop the phone in.. 10
seconds should suffice, right? I press start………………………….. SPARK! SNAP! POP! Immediately
preceding the start of the warm up. I open the microwave. On one hand the phone
is now room temp (SUCCESS?!) and on the other hand the power button is now
stuck on, the green light to show it’s on is stuck to being on, and it’s not
working. WHATEVER! I will blame it on my sister… 3 things I lived by between
the age of 13 and 18 “Deny, Deny, Deny.” My parents get home a little later,
they discover the phone and we go back and forth about it, but my dad
technically can’t prove anything. The next day he is on the phone with Sony and
they tell him to send it in to be looked at (on his dime). At this point in the
90’s cordless phones were still cool/new. He sent it in and the diagnosis was
water damage—hhhmmm perhaps from the freezing then microwaving?? I knew this,
but they didn’t. So they went and got a new phone and I kept this little secret
inside for about… 10 years.  I started around
the age of 23 letting out little tid bits of information, or the truth about
things they’d always wondered. I knew that they couldn’t get mad at that point
and I, personally, needed to start clearing my closet of all these skeletons.
No matter how small they were—I harbor guilt and hold grudges against myself
for a long time. So I think back to the ROOT of all this and realize it stemmed from forging a signature to hide the fact I was earning a C in 8th grade... I probably wouldn't have even been grounded... just a lecture. I live now by: Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy..

Communication In The Workplace...

So, most of you know that I have been at a new job that I totally love, and I have been here since November. I work a couple days a week in Oceanside and the majority of the people I work with are Hispanic women. These women are mothers, some single mothers, and they are from the community.. the community isn't exactly middle class... so they are faced with stress that I can't even comprehend.. and I take this into account everyday when I feel like I WANT TO WALK OUT. I'm not sure how they view me, but I am pretty positive they don't view me as a help, or as a team mate. I think I encompass someone from the main office, who is younger, semi Hispanic, and maybe a little more educated. All of those ingredients add up to a recipe for opposition. Not all of them give me that vibe, but most..
How do I continue to try and bring my organization, focus, efficiency, and skill set to help them run a smoother operation without losing my mind, or dealing with disrespectful women who are older than me?? My idea of organization and theirs is TOTALLY different. There's a 5 minute bout of panic everyday about something whether it be: finding stickers for kids, markers, paper, etc.. 5 minutes of stress that is not necessary if they would understand and appreciate all the time I've put into organizing their office and making visible all the resources and supplies they have... not to mention I am the person that orders the supplies they need, etc. Sometimes they are SO SO SO unapproachable it makes me (the confident, assured person I THOUGHT I was..) feel non existent, and not taken seriously. Not a day goes by that I don't have to think really hard about what I say and how I say it..? Do you all do that?? Do you have to censor what you say and how you say it for fear of a person shutting down on you, or lashing out? I am younger in all the ways possible than them... and sometimes I have to be like a teacher to a class of 3rd graders, and pause for attention, ask for specific people to please stop and listen to me.. because if I don't than the excuse is "I didn't hear you." The one thing I have going for me is that I do understand most of the Spanish they speak, so there is no getting away with talking about me...but normally..that doesn't stop them. SO what do I do?? Get tougher, show a backbone (more?) get to know them more personally, so its harder for them to associate me as a non entity? I don't get it... I just think it's really rude and though they do lack some of the office and social skills that most of us learn early one, I still feel its no excuse, and its wearing down on my day and my emotions.. and I have bigger fish to fry. I am really asking for comments to this post on this topic.. I for once don't have all the answers.. hahah

Support: Everyone Needs It.



Whhheeewww!! It's been awhile since I last wrote.... Well, I've typed up two posts and never posted them... I told you all this was a form of psychotherapy for me. I wrote out this LONG post, and then slept on it, woke up, and blushed at what I was reading... blushing of embarassment. Thank GOD, mother earth, whatever you believe in that I didn't post it.
--Anyways--
I am in the mood to touch on 'support' and what it means to have it, what happens when you don't and what is it to you and I.
I am going to be interviewed tomorrow via phone for 5-7 minutes on National Television. Some of you may know that I worked for an event based 'Transformational Speaking Company' basically, my boss traveled the world trying to enlighten people who were interested in being enlightened through the power of positive thinking. We held events that were as simple as getting to know 'you' and learning to ride the wave of ups and downs in your life, as opposed to striving for balance across the board. Events on the other side of the spectrum would be more spiritual based, rebirthing, cleansing, releasing, etc. Best job I've had until the one I have now. I felt valued, I was able to be me, my work-life balance was peaking, and all in all I was mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy. Unfortunately, there was a tragic, unforseen, unfortunate accident at one of our more involved events, a few people lost their lives, and I in turn lost my job the day before my birthday. Its been over a year since this has happened and the owner of the company is now on trial facing 3 counts of manslaughter. All of us working there lost our jobs, some jumped ship before we even knew what was going to happen while others, like me, were hopelessly positive that we would rise from the devistation. A lot of people lost their jobs and were abruptly forced into unemployment. The whole situation was bad... People losing their lives being the worst.
Needless to say, over a year later the trial has begun and in the interim there's been a lot of people and press speaking out against the owner, the employees, and industry. I have yet to see anything relatively positive. I received an e-mail from a TV station that specializes in the coverage of high profile trials, and they asked me my thoughts and opinions. Apparently, I offered a new view, so tomorrow I will, hopefully, bring an opinion and outlook that has yet to be seen in regards to the owner, the company, and the industry.
All of the above leads me to the topic of support. Am I scared about tomorrow? Uhhh....yeah... I don't want any of the family of the people who passed at the event to think of me as some renegade supporter and ex employee who is diminishing the severity of the situation and the memory of their loved ones. This is not the case.
How many times have you been somewhere and wanted to say something or wanted make a comment, or ask a question and you didn't?? And then someone else asks, comments, or says what you were thinking and you took a breath of relief? Someone finally said or asked what you wanted...I haven't had too many of those times in my life.. and those who know me, know this is true..I generally ask, comment, and speak when I think it's fitting (and in my head... it's almost always a fitting time..haha) So, I will stand true to who I have always been and I will share my positive experience that changed my life that otherwise may have never happened had I not worked for this company, and met the people I met while doing so. The owner of the company is still pod-casting and speaking about enlightenment via the web here and there and seems to be doing well, but deep down... he needs support. I believe he's getting it, but there's nothing wrong with letting someone know that "Hey, while you may be in this terrible situation living with the fact that 3 people died under your watch, and you are potentially taking the blame and are going to prison forever, your work made an impact on my life, and if it made an impact on mine... I know it made it impact on a ton of others." I truly feel like this is one of those moments in my life that if I don't speak up, it will forever haunt me that I didn't stand up and say something when it might really count.
And speaking of support for my old boss, how about the support I got on facebook? That's so great...to have someone tell me that I am going to be great, is the support that I need, and I am so thankful for. Everyone needs it--
I feel often times that attention is focused on details that hinder someones advancement, as opposed to the details that push them to strive for more and work harder... does that make sense? It's really easy to see a girlfriend of yours losing weight and to think 'Well, it took her 6 months and a trainer, I don't have that time or money' as opposed to saying 'Wow!! She looks great!! And only 6 months and she committed to a trainer, I need to start thinking about something like that, or I should ask her for some tips." I learned at the said company that I needed to "celebrate my successes" more... I cringed at the thought of this. As much as it may not seem like it... I am not a big fan of praise, it's very hard for me to take a compliment, or praise, and to celebrate it. I get red in the face and look away, and deny it... replace what should be a simple 'thank you' with something sarcastic and off topic. This isn't the way................this isn't the way I want to be. How can I be a great supporter if I can't accept it myself?  How do you show your support? I think my preferred way to show support, is to follow up. I may not talk, email, or text people all the time, but when I am told something like an event they're training for, a house they were looking to buy, the last few pounds they have till their goal weight, etc.. I like to follow up with them and send a text or make a lunch break call to remind them that I remember, and I am rooting for them.
All the ways we support people and all the ways we are supported build our character. If we never heard praise, we wouldn't know what to work for right? We wouldn't know right from wrong as children? We wouldn't have compassion and all the traits that make us good partners to someone.
I think it's pretty easy: Be supportive, be supported.

Facebook: You're a Sneaky Little B*tch..

It's been awhile.. and for that I am sorry. It's not that I don't have anything to write about; it's that nothing has really struck a chord with me that has sent me flying to my keyboard...............................until NOW.

Facebook sure can stir up some kind of emotion...Especially when I am suuuuuper bored and I take the time to strategically read the posts and look at the newly posted pics--then I remember someone or see them on someone's wall and of course navigate away from the page I was initially on, and before I know it, I am sitting 1st class on a direct flight to cyberville, USA... looking at an acquaintance from High School's wife's sister's daughter's 2 year old birthday party.......?!?!?!?! REALLY. Like, I seriously backed away from my computer and shut down Facebook. There's no way that I should be this deep into someone else's life who has NO idea who I am. It was scary...

So, obviously when you're on Facebook you run across people you used to know, people you dated, people you liked, your past 'enemies', etc. I have actually maintained pretty good restraint in not lurking on people's pages (people of interest we will call them) sometimes though you just DO it. You let yourself get to that page...

When I got to those pages today, I didn't go to the emotion I may have gone to year(S) ago, I went to the reminiscent emotion, thinking about that time in my life aside from that particular person. It's a trip...
I started thinking about what car I had back then, where I went, who I was hanging out with, what my weekends consisted of, what I was wearing, my hair, my tan, my weight, How old was my sister? What was my relationship with my parents like at that time? Was I drinking then? Was I smoking? Which of my friends was I the closest to at this point in my life? What songs were out? It's a lot to take in, and then .. .Kings of Leon came on the radio, and made me feel like I was in a movie as I was sifting through the pages/photos.
I started to look at the recent photos of these people and they don't even look the same, their GF or fiance, or wife are nothing what I ever pictured them being with... they weren't the kind of women I compared myself to during sleepless nights post-break up. Enter KC & JoJo, Selena, Babyface, and Lit songs here...

I sat in my chair and felt really silly... putting myself back into that time, back into those emotions, and wishing DESPERATELY I could go back and have this moment of clarity: then. I guess that's the point though.. life doesn't have do- over's. It's just weird to think that you were a part of people's lives for so long, and then poof! You are gone.. they're gone. The world you lived in is no longer... and I can thankfully say: THANK GOD.

When I was asking all those questions above, like where I was at in my life at that time.... the answers weren't good. They weren't good in comparison to how great my answers are now. There's a reason why your past is your past, and it WILL haunt you if you don't meet it at the front door with an axe to hack apart, and bury. That's what I realized today... the people from your past (the ones that haven't been in your present and definitely won't be in your future) need to be let go: completely. Visit the page, take a look, have a mental trip, and move on. Don't act like I'm a Facebook stalker either.. cause we've all done it.

Be happy for where your 'page' is at.. be it there or not. Are the answers to your questions better now, or were they better back then? Think about it.. and if they were better then... why? What were you doing then that made your answers better? If it's now that your answers are better, how are they better? What can you do to maintain? And how can you make them better?

I am really happy to see that it took me 15 minutes to jump into a time machine, have a mental trip, shake it off, and see clearer. I think you know life is good when you can look at your past and thank God ...it is what it is: the past.

I love my family more than ever, myself, my friends, my man.. and everything that concerns those 4 things. I feel really lucky that I'm mid twenties and have certain things figured out... so that way as I get older all the new s*it has somewhere to be stored! hahahah

Make it a great day... for real.

Stoop or Grow Up?

The older I get the more I realize that it takes a tougher, more disciplined person to be silent in moments of debate, argument, or even casual conversation...

But DAMN IT ALL.. .it is SO hard sometimes!

So... I've just given my two weeks notice to this company, we'll call it Job 1.I've chosen a different job over Job 1, even after Job 1 sought me out to come on full time, etc. My immediate supervisor was not happy about it. In fact it was written on her face and heard in her tone when I told her. All she said to me was "I have a lot of holes to fill now, and I'm happy for you... and that's all I'm gonna say." She said it in this tone like she was holding back, as if she wanted to tell me "How can you do this?" The reason I am going to the other job and the way I presented it to HR was done SO well.. and ultimately it's MY choice, right?

Yesterday I was 15 minutes late-- I really wanted to shower, and put makeup on. I am not forgoing cleanliness for punctuality: I called my immediate supervisor to let her know.

So let's fast forward to today... This morning I was running late-- that's pretty standard. I can be on time when I want to, but recently I've been refusing to rush getting ready and creating a bad start to my day... so I opt to be just a few minutes late to work, ha! This tardiness is is usually 3-5 minutes after 7:30am. I've made comments before about my tardiness to my supervisor and it's never been seen or spoken of as a big deal, as long as it's just a couple minutes here and there, which it has been.

So here I am, running behind because I wanted to look cute. I feel better when I look better. I am calculating in my head that I'll be 10 minutes late... then, just as I am in the middle of PYT by Michael Jackson and singing myself into the best day ever...  I get a text....................................... "R u on your way?" and it's my immediate supervisor from Job 1! F*CK.. seriously?? Why would you do that? To let me know that you know that I'm late... again. How about this? I don't care, and I think texting an employee when they're under 10 minutes late "R u on your way?" is really dumb and unprofessional. Let's be honest: I answer phones and work on projects... I am not running late for brain surgery or a liver transplant. This really fired me up. The text.. it all makes sense now right?? She's mad, or has a hang up because I am leaving, I'm late (probably thinks I am getting short timer's syndrome) and all she was trying to do was call me out. Plain and simple.

Is this all in my head? Who out there has been a supervisor? Would you text an employee who is under 10 minutes late? If they only had a week and some change left at your place of employment? And you know their work load, as you are the one that gives it to them, you know there isn't anything super time sensitive to be done??

Anyways, so I get to my desk after the text fiasco and rage has set in, and there's an e-mail from the girl who comes in at noon at Job 1 and relieves me when I got to Job 2. She's nice...

She smokes heavily on her way into work and then attempts to cover it up with a Victoria's Secret body splash-- bringing out the smell more and resulting in a really bad sense overload, but she's nice...

She was a little upset, I think, that I got offered the initial FT position (although I didn't see her exactly reaching for the stars...reaching for a carton of Malboros maybe, but not the stars..) so I turn down the job offer and she (through default) is now going to be full time. Gosh, I sound awful don't I?? I hope you all know this is for entertainment's sake too... ! Moving on: So I check my e-mail and she has written this to me:

Hey girl,

Just wanted to let you know if you wanted to take off a couple days early to your new job, you know I am here to cover. I know when you give your 2 weeks it seems to drag  by. 

WOW! Ok Cujo calm down.. I just put in my two weeks! I know you're ready to make some money, but c'mon... 

I'm not sure if she knows it's a little distasteful to leave earlier than your reported two weeks? Well, it doesn't surprise me, so anyways-- unbeknown to her I was already fit to be tied and replied:

It's normally not looked upon highly to leave earlier than your two weeks.

If anything changes; I'm sure Job 1 will be the first to let you know. 

 Yeah... ouch... and there's no recall... oh well. 

So this whole blog was really therapeutic for me, if you couldn't tell. And I promise though that these stories tie into the blog title and intro. 

I feel like my immediate supervisor stooped a little.. she might be a little upset that I've caused her some more work, or I don't know, but she stooped.

And in the case of Malboro lady, she was probably just trying to be nice, offered a helping hand, and maybe had a little agenda, but out of niceness nonetheless, and I basically acted superior to her... I needed to grow up in that instance.

Reacting the right way is so hard sometimes.. 

Will we ever get a grip on ourselves?? 

 

“The thing with pretending you're in a good mood is that sometimes you can."

I've had this lingering mood since Monday evening-- started with a stomach ache and ended with this fatigue and very small tolerance for: everything.

I have NO reason to feel the way I do; there's nothing going on in my life that isn't fixable, or changeable, or really that bad, for corn's sake! I usually can remind myself of this and crawl out of the dark, damp hole where all my negativity is temporarily stored, and I can reach up high and grab a piece of sunshine, like a stick of butter, and turn things around...! Sometimes, though, I can't! For example, this morning I texted my boyfriend (after screening his call) and warned that I was I like a heat seeking missile for anything I can put my grumpy little paws on. Naturally, he said something sweet and I opted to call him (he was warned!) of course this is after I screamed F*******CCKK...!! As loud as I could in my car when I missed the traffic light that determines my tardiness to work. He and I talked and I rattled off 3 things that pissed me off within the short hour I was awake-- it wasn't fair, so I stopped talking, sucked it up, and we ended our conversation on a slightly positive note...ha! So why do I feel like this? I am upset that I can't seem to defeat this. I worked for a company that surrounded me with hugely, positive people and I learned a lot of stress relieving techniques...but I didn't have the TIME to do any of this... I was rushing on my way to work.. feeling unmotivated.. what do I do?

An amazing friend of mine suggested I write about this mood I'm having, and I thought I'd do some research on how to get myself out of this mood (new techniques) and some ol' faithfuls-- upon doing that I can safely say I am almost 89% over MYSELF. After this list though, I want to add some personal hang ups that I think I can no longer keep in my temporary hole of doom.. and I believe these things compile the key to my 115% complete happiness. So here is the list, in my own words, but borrowed from a few places:

1. Recall something or someone who makes you happy and think or daydream about it/him/her. I like to imagine a night sitting around with my family and making fun of one another (mostly we pick on my dad), or laughing with my boyfriend in the car some point during the weekend.
2. Find something or someone you are grateful for and express your gratitude to yourself, or to that person(s). I may be in a crappy mood sometimes, but my good/grateful moods can be so moving. I've actually CRIED multiple times while driving home, or along the PCH thinking about how lucky I am, and how far my family and I have come.
3. Stay in the present. Appreciate the mundane by focusing on the activities you do without thinking like eating, bathing, walking. Take note of how good the water feels in the shower, how soft or hard the ground feels on your feet as you walk or just silently eat your meal and really taste it. This kind of goes along with my example above.
4.    Be compassionate toward yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself as you are now. This helps to open you to the flow of universal energy, which is supportive, nurturing, and very stabilizing. Pure and simple: realize you are amazing.
5.    Get Out of Bed—Again. Lawrence Biscontini, MA, says if he steps out of bed in a bad mood, he’ll try, try again. “I get back into the bed and lie down for a moment or two to shift my perception,”  “Then I make that translate into movement as I get up in a different way: either on another side of the bed, from the bottom edge of the bed or from the same spot as before, but hopping, jumping or sliding to the floor.”
6.    Create a Good Morning. Help ensure that you don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed, by considering your morning routine. Include things in your morning routine that will get your day off to a good start, not just going through the motions. Think of something that you really enjoy doing in the morning, and figure out a way to incorporate it. For example, I love to take my time getting ready.. I like to listen to music and relax, but I am always in a rush and don't have a radio in my bathroom. I am going to get a clock radio in my shower and a new candle to light to create a more relaxing atmosphere.
7.    Change What’s Bugging You. The only way you can change your mood is to make active attempts to do so. Instead of dwelling on dark or low energy emotions, try to focus your thoughts on coming up with solutions. For example, if the sound of your alarm clock makes you feel like blowing it to pieces, don’t continuously think about how much you hate your alarm clock. Instead, think about what type of sound you would like to hear or how you'd like to be woken in the morning. Then make a plan to get a new alarm clock or wake-up product.

#7 sits pretty heavy with me.. and just as I got done listing WHY it does.. my computer froze and I lost everything I wrote, so I am taking it as sign to keep it to myself. I will write my personal list of things to change to ensure I am sleeping better, waking up better, exercising more, and ditching these, although infrequent, crappy moods!

I hope this post might help someone today, or just let someone know...we

all become prisoners of our thoughts sometimes..

Super Bowl Sunday Vs. Porn Sunday...

All of us know this Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday... XLV! One of my first memories as a kid was Super Bowl Sunday when I lived in Northern California and the 49'ers were in it...1990-1991? I am looking forward to the game; even if I don't care for either of the teams in it. That's not what I'm talking about today though... I wanted to spice up this otherwise bland Tuesday morning, and elaborate on something I heard on the radio, and then researched...

PORN SUNDAY

There is a new movement being hosted by 300 churches across the United States called "Porn Sunday," that is taking place this Sunday. The movement is to help those struggling with porn. These churches are coming together to talk about the 'all things sexual' attitude that America has. This is a picture they have on their site:

This movement actually has former and current pro football players backing it: Jon Kitna, Matt Hasselbeck, Ryan Pickett, Josh McCown and some guy named Craig who started this 'XXXChurch' concept. They are using the phrase "talking about the elephant in the pew," and helping those who struggle with porn or sex addiction bring the issue out from underneath the rug it's usually swept under. Crazy huh??!!......... Well, of course my 1st thought was "of course Hasslebeck is doing this!" his crazy, debutant, pearl necklace touting sister-in-law probably put him up to it... meanwhile they are probably part of some undercover kiddy porn ring... ugh, they disgust me...and Hasselbeck plays for the Seattle Sea Hags... maybe Carroll should take a couple pointers on winning from Tiger and pop in a few clips... bow-chicka-bow-wow.... ok, moving on...

Porn Sunday, we get the concept-- now let me tell you what the radio station was talking about. They weren't exactly backing that movement, but they wanted to bring up some different views on porn, men, and women. They were saying that a man is wired to be visually appealed to by pornography, that it's something they (as men) can get way more involved in than women... I can totally understand this-- they then go on to say that a man can't be a leader in his home, community, or church if he watches pornography....................now, I am not married, nor do I have children, nor am I super involved in the church, so I can't really lend an informed opinion on any of this... I just want to talk about it. The show goes on to say that pornogrpahy creates a false sense of what a woman really is... if anyone has 'accidentally' come across a porn before than you know that the women don't exaclty look like anyone in my facebook pics... generally it's fake chesticles, completely hairless bodies, extensions (usually blonde in color), tons of makeup, etc... and my knowing this doesn't mean anything.. pornstars are all over the news, tv, etc... do you know who Charlie Sheen is?.. ok... so they are saying that these women I described above are creating a false sense of what a real woman is, and the sexual things that go on in a porn don't go on (normally) in a marriage thus a man who watches porn becomes sexually desensitized in his marriage and becomes bored-- creating problems! Isn't that sad?? I never thought about it that way!! Notice I use marriage a lot in reference to these issues.. b/c..I promote monogomy... fo' life.

So with all that being said... will you all be at a Porn Sunday church venue...?? Or somewhere watching the Super Bowl?? hahhaah I have only had 1 comment on 3 blogs so far... I am looking for some feedback on this topic! Here's the website for the movement http://xxxchurch.com/getinvolved/x3events/pornsunday.html 

See what you think.............. Happy Boobsday... oops... Tuesday!





Self Disclosure...scholars define self-disclosure as sharing information with others that they would not normally know or discover.

Day 3-- and it's Friday! Woohoo! Hats off to everyone who made it through a tough workday, work out, traffic, blah blah... we made it.

I go to bed worried that I may not have much to write about the next day, and then like clockwork something happens and like Batman, I say to myself "TO THE BLOG!"

Self disclosure... it's pretty self explanatory. Here's a definition I found online: scholars define self-disclosure as sharing information with others that they would not normally know or discover. Self-disclosure involves risk and vulnerability on the part of the person sharing the information. (http://www.abacon.com/commstudies/interpersonal/indisclosure.html) 

Have you ever met someone at work, school, in a group of friends, etc and they are immediately an open book? And not an open book in the sense they reveal semi-personal tidbits of info for the sake of a laugh, anecdote, or to add to a conversation (b/c that would be me, ha!) But these people are the kind that you avoid in the break room b/c if you make eye contact you are like chum in thePacific Ocean! Not only are you stuck talking to them when you need to be at your desk, or doing something else, but then they start revealing insight to their personal lives.. the kind of insight that you walk away wondering "Was that a cry for help?" I have a few people in my life like that, male and female. How do you deal with it? 

I am normally not one to decline a conversation, but there has to be a line drawn! If I am at my desk and typing, and looking at my computer screen---WHY do you feel the need to mumble something about your alcoholic boyfriend, and the run in your tights...?? WHHHHHYYYY? Then I am forced to look away from the "fjkwhrioehlsfhndslfiowhrioewh" I am typing on my screen to avoid you, to respond half ass to what you're saying--it's not fair to you or I... yet we keep doing this. There's another person I run into and within 15 minutes I am privy to know that they were a victim of attempted RAPE three times!!???!!

What am I supposed to do with that information?? How am I supposed to process that?? I have been told that I am an easy person to talk to... and that makes me SO happy, however; there's a line that should be drawn right? So, obviously I listen, provide a little feedback, and then thank them for sharing with me...but really...

Same goes for a few closer friends of mine who are okay with filling me in on intimate details of their relationship...I just feel like certain things are sacred? Maybe it's me..

So anyways, I guess this is for everyone out there who know what I am talking about ....and if you don't know what I am talking about... LESS IS MORE. 

Happy Friday... tick tock tick tock...till 5 o'clock! Here's a nice Friday song and picture:

 

A little more serious today: "Our roads may split and drift apart but we’ll always remain friends at heart..."

Some might know my love, or sort of addiction to quotes. If you use my computer and start typing something in the search bar--you'll usually find all sorts of prefilled searches for quotes. "Quotes about leaving home", "Quotes about laying around with your sister," and sometimes the occasional very wierd search, "What is it called when people have sex with dead animals?" That one is for my sister... she will get it. So anyways, I love quotes-- and I usually look them up when I am feeling a certain way, happy, sad, funny, smart, etc. I think you'll see where I am going with this post today, or maybe it's just proving what my mother said of my new love for blogging "Great psychotherapy."

Heregoes: I started to feel a little distant from my friends this past month or so, and while I know they understand that life moves fast, and we are all doing our best to keep up, something was still a little off. I did what I normally do when I feel that way, and sent a few texts, made a few phone calls, sent some e-mails... just wanted to extend a hello and let them know I was thinking about them. I also went to a few outings (birthdays, happy hours, movies, etc) I do what I can with the time I have, and that's the truth. I got a call from a friend the other day who was was feeling a little neglected, and to be honest it caused me a little heart ache. I, deep down, feel like I connect with friends and make it out as much as I can to a point that all parties are happy. Let's be honest, everyone who reads this knows I have a boyfriend... that I adore. I cannot wait to spend time with him, and rightfully so, he's the bomb.com and lets me be me. Enough said. So here's my dillema--

What constitutes as enough calls, texts, and get togethers with your gal pals to keep them feeling strong in your friendship?

Is there an equation that answers how much time per week should be spent with a friend congruent to your level of friendship, and dependent on how much $ you have, plus the remainder of time you have to spend with your family and boyfriend? See...it's hard.

With all that being said: I don't plan to lose any of the friends I have right now. They're in my life for a reason. I want them there... however; just as I understand that life happens quickly, and new love, new jobs, and new locations happen more often than not at this age--I also know that I am a great friend. When I am out, or on the phone, or texting: I give my all. I am always an open ear and heart, and I feel as time goes on it won't be so much the hours spent, but the quality in that time. I'm sorry today isn't as entertaining as might be expected... worry not-- the day is young...

Here's a little something to brighten everyone's day (and I've added a treat for my male contributor as well:

How Workplace Restrooms Can Lead to Temporary Mental Demise...

I'm not super sure how this 'blogging' is going to work, so please bear with me. I need to find a way to say what I feel without being too OPEN, or potentially hurting someone else. If there's going to be a blog about life scenarios, and situations (serious, not serious, etc) I guess I am going to have to learn! 

I will start with something light, a little gross, but not too serious...

Workplace Restroom Etiquette! Embarrassingly enough-- one of the things I have had to do a couple times at my 1st job is: plunge the toilet. Disgusting... really. I've done it b/c people have left the toilet that way, and I feel it's common courtesy. If I didn't take the liberty my HR manager would be doing, and since I kind of 'assist' her... I figured this might be an assistance to her. Still... really gross.

I had a serious mental trip about it one day too! I was thinking "Is this what I have reduced myself to? Have I irrevocably screwed up my life to the point where I am plunging someone's s*it??" 

So, here I am plunging this toilet, almost in tears because a) I am plunging a damn toilet with someone's excrement in it and b) my arms were getting sore thus confirming how out of shape I am and c) I have all these thoughts in my head about where I 'should' be and how low I felt. I know it seems like a lot, but I plunged for 15 minutes. (If you know me, this is enough time for me to cry, laugh, yell, and go to sleep).

Finally, I decided that the culprits, or usual bathroom-bombing suspects were not going to sit in their cubicles while I plunged. I went back to my desk and realized I work with people who might have serious stomach issues! Oh well, not for me to worry about--I had all this junk heavy on my mind about my life. Just as I am about to write a self deprecating status on Facebook, the owner of my company walks up with the plunger and says to me "I'm going to give it a shot, you tried right?" (enter disbelief here) I quickly ran up and walked with him over to the restroom... Ew, no I didn't stand over the owner while he plunged, but I heard him...he plunged for a good 10 minutes. He came back out and said "We need to call the handyman, that's beyond a plunger," or something to that effect... Really?? That's all? He didn't come to me crying about how screwed up his life was? He didn't need a therapy session? He didn't want to call his significant other crying? Or have a drink at 10am? 

So, in a matter of 30 minutes while I plunged and he plunged, I recalled how I quit going to school for a boy, I quit going to school for money, I quit living at home for 'freedom', and here I was: back at home, back in school, and plunging toilets. At minute 31 when the owner of my very successful place of employment was done plunging a toilet, in his office, the s*it of someone he employed, I realized that I let myself go right to a point of negativity and reflection and self loathing, while the owner was just doing what needed to get done....(novel concept, right?)

With that being said, I don't LIKE plunging now, and I definitely do NOT have an appreciation for plungers, but I do know: I am doing what I need to get 'it' done (in reference to my life) Pretty nuts what has to happen for me to ground myself sometimes....

I am coining the term: When life hands you a clogged toilet; plunge it.